[There's the sucker punch. One word sending Daichi's eyes wide, air gone.
But his hands stay fixed on Sugawara's shoulders. It must have been so hard. Trying to keep things up. Always smiling, teasing, looking out for everyone else. Hiding something this strong.]
[Suga can see the same struggle playing out on Daichi’s face now. Something this strong has been dropped right on his shoulders and he has to stand up straight, be the support, without anyone to hold him upright and reassure him that everything is still okay. As much as Suga wishes he could just break down and cry on Daichi’s shoulder, he clings to the same composure that’s gotten him this far because he will not double and triple the weight Daichi now has to carry.]
I know. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to do this sooner.
And I'm honored you think of me like that. I really am.
[Even if Daichi's still a roil of emotions, he can be sure of that much. Sugawara's not someone who just gives his heart away. Not unless he believes in someone.]
That's better than "flattered." It's less "aw, how nice" and more "I think of you just as highly, even if it's in a different way."
He doesn't deserve it, Suga thinks as bitter disappointment rises in the back of his throat and threatens to choke him. This is such a nice, mature, reasonable result and he hates it all of a sudden. Part of him wants to scream hateful lies at Daichi, drive him away forever, just to give him a reason for all the unearned misery flooding his heart... but he just nods again.]
I, uh... I know everything's okay with us and I'm glad, but I just - I need to not be here with you anymore. Okay? It's just. A lot.
[Is there a fraction too long, before he lets go of Suga?
Daichi couldn't say. It just hurts to see this fallout. Know he's the cause. All that can be done is lessen the damage. He clears his throat. Surprised at the lump in it.]
Just - Please talk with someone. If it's not me.
I'll see you?
[At least tomorrow's Sunday. No school. No practice. With a wave, an attempt at a smile, Daichi turns away. Steps much slower than the arrival.]
[Suga's nodding too energetically now, blinking too rapidly - he's right on the knife-edge of tears. No more indulging Daichi's need to see him reacting normally or his need to react normally anymore. All he can do is turn on his heel and run, hands clamped over his mouth.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Omg I’m phone tagging so I understand!!
But Daichi wants to know everything.
His chin trembling, Suga looks right into Daichi’s ferocious stare and lets him know the full truth:]
Is it still okay if I’m in love with you?
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But his hands stay fixed on Sugawara's shoulders. It must have been so hard. Trying to keep things up. Always smiling, teasing, looking out for everyone else. Hiding something this strong.]
Y... eah.
Yeah. It's okay.
I'm just sorry you had to be alone with all that.
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I know. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to do this sooner.
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Thanks.
And I'm honored you think of me like that. I really am.
[Even if Daichi's still a roil of emotions, he can be sure of that much. Sugawara's not someone who just gives his heart away. Not unless he believes in someone.]
no subject
That's better than "flattered." It's less "aw, how nice" and more "I think of you just as highly, even if it's in a different way."
He doesn't deserve it, Suga thinks as bitter disappointment rises in the back of his throat and threatens to choke him. This is such a nice, mature, reasonable result and he hates it all of a sudden. Part of him wants to scream hateful lies at Daichi, drive him away forever, just to give him a reason for all the unearned misery flooding his heart... but he just nods again.]
I, uh... I know everything's okay with us and I'm glad, but I just - I need to not be here with you anymore. Okay? It's just. A lot.
no subject
[Is there a fraction too long, before he lets go of Suga?
Daichi couldn't say. It just hurts to see this fallout. Know he's the cause. All that can be done is lessen the damage. He clears his throat. Surprised at the lump in it.]
Just - Please talk with someone. If it's not me.
I'll see you?
[At least tomorrow's Sunday. No school. No practice. With a wave, an attempt at a smile, Daichi turns away. Steps much slower than the arrival.]
no subject
[Suga's nodding too energetically now, blinking too rapidly - he's right on the knife-edge of tears. No more indulging Daichi's need to see him reacting normally or his need to react normally anymore. All he can do is turn on his heel and run, hands clamped over his mouth.]